Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World by Jill Rigby

Author:Jill Rigby
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Howard Books

Always Follow Through

A FEW FINAL POINTS TO ponder about follow-through, no matter the age of your child:

♦ United you stand; divided you fall. As was pointed out in the previous chapter, you and your spouse are co-coaches on the home team. If two coaches on the same team gave you opposing orders, the team would be defeated. If you disagree with each other, do so in private. Your children will use you against each other if you’re not careful to maintain a united front.

♦ Be consistent. Don’t change your mind with the wind. When you’re tempted to give in or tempted to bend the rules, remember that you’re the parent.

♦ Take action. Go over the offense and give the consequence, and then move on. We complicate issues of discipline by discussing and explaining. Do you really expect your child to look at you after being disciplined and say, “Oh, I understand, Dad. I get it now; you’ve just taken away my CD player because you love me and . . . ”? Chances of that happening at that moment are slim to none.

♦ Use your child’s name, no matter the age. “Jonathan, I’d like you to take out the garbage.” By using your child’s name, you’re conveying the child’s personal responsibility for the requested action. It also helps to develop his pride in a job well done. Your child is thinking, Dad called me by name . . . I’d better listen.

♦ Decide ahead of time that you will win. You’re not battling your child; you’re battling the wrongness of your child’s behavior. For the sake of your child, you must win.

♦ Stay calm. Let a young child know by your calm demeanor that whining is absolutely, positively ineffective. You can nip whining in the bud by ignoring it. If a teen whines, explain the reason for your decision to say no, and stand by it. You can discuss alternatives, but not compromises.

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